today i went to pay respect to my grandpa, someone who doted me the most since i was born. tis yr is his 10th death anniversary. it is oso the last time i can go pay respect to him before i go for Aust for 2yrs. grandpa passed away when i was 11yrs old, now tat i am 21yrs old, it had been 10 long yrs, i nv forget how he look like and the tings tat he did. he is the best grandpa on earth.
i still rem how he sat beside me to rock me to sleep in a sarong when i was young, how he brought me to market for breakfast, how he waited for me at the void deck where my sch bus would drop me everyday after sch, how he waited for me and my bro at the void deck on every weekend when my parents bring us back to his house, how he will called out to my name to open the door whenever he come home... i still rem how he would dress whenever he go out. he will always wear a white short sleeve shirt plus a greyish black long pants, black covered shoes made of cloth and hold on to an black umbrella be it rainy or sunny day... at home he would always wear a white t-shirt and a light blue shorts and a pair of slippers.
grandpa is a very smart and caring person. he always put pple above himself and will always try his best to help pple who need help. he will not let anyone down. i still rem how Aunties will always advise him to save his $$ to himself and not send all back home to China to his relatives who might be cheating his $$. but to grandpa, as long as they r his family members, he dun mind. he juz wan to make sure they get a comfortable life. granny told me tat last time when they were very poor, grandpa oso nv tot of giving up. when pple asked him to give away some of his children to lighten his load, his ans will always be a firm "NO". to him, children are his life, no matter how poor he can be, he make sure he bring them up. i may not be around to see all tat, but i can feel tat grandpa is a very responsible father and husband.
i still rem 10 yrs ago, the hospital called at abt 2am in the morning to inform us the bad news. at tat point in time, i was devastated. i can't help but keep crying cos i really dun wan to accept the reality. i can still vividly wat happen at home tat night. everyone in the family was very very upset. relatives came to my house early in the morning to help. all i can do is sit down at a corner, sobbing to myself as i dun wan disturb others. i held on to grandpa's photo. i was so scared, i wan him to be by my side. all along, he had been there for me. as he took care of my bro and i since young, we r always by his side. most of the time, after sch when i go home, he is around. he will always make sure i finish my homework before i go downstairs to play. when my bro and I are being punished, he will always be there for us. he nv used the cane to cane us though he always use it to scare us.. haha..
though grandpa leave us, i will nv forget him cos he is so dear to me. i guess in life there r always pple whom u will nv forget as they had such great impact to ur life. though grandpa had only been with me for 11yrs of my life, i tink is really enough. enough for me to feel for his presence and being affected by every of his tinking in helping pple. however it had nv been enough for me to be filial to him... pple always say i give in more than i take.. i guess tat is someting i learn from grandpa..
today i bought his fav food and told him abt me going to Aust for 2 yrs, not able to pay respect to him for 2yrs. i pray to him tat he will watch over me. i noe he will. he said he will always be there for me, which i believe he had always been here to watch over me... maybe it sounds funny. but i still rem when i took my PSLE and GCE O level, i took grandpa's photo with me to the exam hall. dunno y, i juz feel more assured when i feel his presence. to a certain extend, it really help to make me feel more peaceful and less stressful in facing the major exams.
in the past, grandpa had always been with me, now he is still in my heart and in future he will always live my heart...
the more i tink of it, the more i wan to be with my family. pple say u can choose ur frens, but u can't choose ur family as u r with them from day 1 when u r born. i am glad tat at least i have a complete family, we may not be the richest or well off family. at least we r 1 big happy family..
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