"i miss u very very much... my dear dear fren... "

looking @ my title... yeahz! today's blog is regarding frienship.. haiz... in life, we have so many problems to bother abt. from family, studies, work, relationship, friendship... list go on and on... but out of all these, friendship seems the most troublesome one.. cos u can so many different kind of pple and diff pple require diff ways to handle. & one cannot live without frens (at least to me it is very TRUE... i will die without frens). frens r juz like ur family when u r outside however frens will not be as tolerant as ur family as to u can be demanding and spoilbrat. in order to maintain a good frenship with frens, one muz noe wat is give and take. give in the effort and time to maintain it and take watever is offered to u. not only relationship need time to maintain, frenship needs maintain too. & i feel tat it require even more effort and time spent. however 1 thing for sure is tat good frens r forever, esp those u noe for a long time since young.. they r the ones u grew up with, been thru with. they may not understand u totally but they r definitely the ones u can turn to when u need help. even for those who dun contact so frequent, once u r frens, u r bound to be together for life. no such ting as we go into diff lifestyle, frenship will stop... haiz... how i wish i can pass to msg to 1 of my dear fren from sec sch. i really really wanna tell her tat i miss her very much & tat it had been a long time since i last saw her.

i wun mention name as i dunno who is reading tis. but if she ever see tis (cos i forget if she has my blog), i hope she understand my point. we had been classmates for 4 yrs and thru'out the 4 yrs in sch, we had been good frens. esp when we r in sec 3 and 4, we r very good frens. she is juz like a younger sister. she has a stubborn character and at tat time, her temper can juz flare up easily. but still she is a very caring and helpful girl who will lend a helping hand when needed. becos of her stubborness, there was once, we had to stay in sch till midnite juz for a sch event. it was the millenium carnival and we r supposed to sell as many entrance tickets to as many pple as possible to raise funds. our class was so eager to win the top seller prize and she is so so determine to win, me, her & few other frens went from block to block of flats around sch everyday after sch to sell the tickets. it was a tiring job but we had a great time. cos we r working together as a team supporting one another and it was a moment tat i wun forget for life. at tat time, in her, i saw wat is determination. i was rather pleased tat she was my fren cos i felt very proud of her.

of cos along our 8 yrs of frenship, alot of other tings happen. if i wanna list all down, i tink i will take up 3 or 4 or more entries ah.. ahha... watever happened, i am juz glad me and her r part of all of them and tat she was by my side all these while. when we graduated, we went to diff poly. it was when we r slowly drifted apart due to our busy schedules. however, no matter how busy i am, i will still make it a point to msg her and ask abt her. initially things were still ok as in she still keep in contact with me. then slowly when we go to yr 2 and yr 3, we sort of lost contact. i dunno wat happen as she din wan to tell me. she nv reply to my msg and really seems to disappear. i was so upset as i treasure her as my good fren and i dun wan to lose her juz like tis. 8 yrs of frenship, i am juz not willing to let go. so i carried on to msg her as and well and juz leave her any msg whenever i can. thru sms, friendster, emails and even letters. watever ways i can find, i juz do it. i din call her as i noe if she meant to avoid me, then call oso no use. i noe something happen to her family and is giving her lots of stress. she din wan to tell me. i noe i can't helped much but i juz wish be a listener for her whenever she needs it. i juz wanna play a part as a fren to give her concern but did she allow me tat chance? haiz... sad to say... NO... :(

when we graduated from poly, i tot tings seems a bit better. at least, she response to my msg. she gave me some updates on her life but all these din last long. cos recently everyting seems to go back to square point. haiz.. honestly speaking, i am quite tired of tis kind of frenship. it seems to be a 1 way traffic. when i tink of it, tears juz roll down my cheeks. i am so disappointed and upset. i invited her for my 21st bday but she nv turn up and i am really very disappointed cos she promise me to come and yet nv. but nvm, cos i noe we can still have other chance to meet. so all these while i will constantly msg her to ask her out. & everytime i will receive disappointing ans. i nv tot of giving up cos i really wanna hold on to tis frenship and i dun mind spending time to maintain it even though is juz 1 way. i wan to hold on cos i hope my sincerity may touch her 1 day. i understand y she avoided me and other frens. she felt tat we had been drifted apart and scared when we go out, we got no common topics as diff lifestyles. but i really wanna tell her tat her tinking is wrong. yes, is true tat we r leading diff lifestyle and tinking differ but tat does not means we have to forsaken each other. frens r for life, once a fren, u r forever frens. doesn't mean when lifestyle change, ur old frens will be left aside. NO such tings!

& the funny ting is tat i had to go into her blog to find out more abt her life as to wat she is doing now and how is she. is she fine and is everyting ok... i have to find thru the blog when we r frens.. frens for 8 yrs... i really find it so silly... tat time during her 21st bday, i wanna meet her as i bought a present for her but same ting again, i din manage to meet her lah. now tat i am leaving for Australia for studies, i juz wanna see her for the last time. i msg her for the past few weeks, again i received negative ans. i understand she is busy @ work and tat is very hard to meet. so i began to give up the idea to meet her. BUT today when i saw her blog, i was rather disappointed. i start to have the feeling tat all her ans as to busy @ work r excuses. it is not tat i am being mean but is juz tat i dun understand y she can go out with her frens and not me. she can't even like spare a day or juz a short while for me? i am not asking anything more, i juz really hope to see her before i leave for aust and see tat she is ok. am i asking too much? i am really tired... so much so tat i feel like giving up liao... it is even more tedious than liking a guy cos tis 1 way traffic is so torturing. BUT i won't give up no matter how many hip cups i face. even if i still dun get to see her before i go, i wun give up in msging her to ask abt her. simple reason is becos she is my FRIEND. concering abt her is wat i shld do as a friend. nv let go of her is wat i MUZ do. even it is 1 way traffic, i will continue. cos i die die oso muz keep tis fren. maybe she dun wan me as her fren, but she is my good fren FOREVER.

msg for tis fren of mine (u shld noe who u r if u read tis):
friends r forever ting. cannot say let go means let go. even if u can let go easily, i can tell u i can't. i maybe disappointed and upset by ur ans and replies, still i wun let go. u can dun recognise my effort and deny me as ur fren, to me u r NEVER forgotten at all times. not only me, everyone of us here really wish to see u. no matter wat, we R still frens... even if i am in aust, i will keep u in mind. i already run out of words to say abt all these. i juz wish to tell u tat " i miss u very very much, my dear dear fren..."